Varför skadar/ skadade du dig själv?

[MsTibbs]

För att bli lugn
För att straffa mig själv
För att förflytta smärtan
För att känna mig levande

[sommarlov]

För att bli lugn
För att straffa mig själv
För att känna att jag har kontroll
För att förflytta smärtan

För mig är det olika för olika tillfällen.. Ibland gör jag det för att lugna mig när jag får en panikångestattack, andra gånger gör jag det för att jag förtjänar det. Jag kan göra det när jag har en bra dag bara för att jag inte förtjänar att ha en bra dag... jag får inte vara lycklig. Jag skär mig inte i armarna heller, eftersom jag inte vill riskera att någon ser vad jag gjort/gör. Jag vill inte att någon ska tycka synd om mig eller känna sig olustiga när de är med mig. Jag vill att folk ska trivas med mig och det kan de som vet inte göra.. de är liksom ständigt försiktiga med mig. Så jag döljer det för nästan alla (utom ev. ragg som såklart inte kan undgå att se mina ben, men de bryr sig sällan särskilt mycket)...

Jag tycker det är trist när folk tror att alla gör det av samma skäl. Vi är alla individer och har alla olika bakgrunder och syften med våra beteenden. Jag har aldrig känt att jag kan identifiera mig med andra som skär sig, men det kan ju bero på att de jag träffat gör det på ett helt annat sätt. De visar det öppet för alla och pratar öppet om det som om de vore stolta över det.

Jag är inte stolt över att jag skär mig. Det är min drog på ett sätt. Andra kanske tar en cigg eller dricker alkohol... jag skär mig. För att orka med att leva. För att påminna mig själv om hur smutsig och dålig jag är. För att känna ruset och tänka på smärtan i benet istället för i själen. Ja, som sagt.. det är olika för olika tillfällen.

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